How to Stay in Touch with the Office During Your Leisure Time and Still Enjoy It

There are many debates surrounding the idea of working in our leisure time. Most people believe it's purely harmful and ruins our mental health. Seriously, if I get a dollar every time I hear or read about how terrible it is to work on your day off, I'd be rich by now. But a small group timidly suggests that it depends on how we use our free time.  Let's explore this issue and check how to stay in touch with the office during leisure time without harming your work-life balance.

Work vs. Leisure, or Work and Leisure?

There is one undisputedly true statement - we must find the time and space to take a rest from our work duties. Being constantly plugged in will lead to burnout sooner or later. And it's not only about the physical and mental exhaustion but also about our relationships and social life. We need time to recharge our batteries to be more productive when we're back at work.

But this statement isn't contradictory to working on vacation. In her New York Times essay, Laura Vanderkam argues that "loosening up the vacation vs. work binary opens up possibilities for living in new ways". In other words, we should stop considering work and leisure time as two opposite activities. Instead, we should try to find a middle ground and use our free time in a way that benefits both our professional and personal life. All in all, if you enjoy your work, why not stay in touch with it during your vacation?

Understand Your Motivations

Everything is a matter of your motivation and self-consciousness. According to Passport Photo Online's study, 68% of vacationers use their smartphones for work when traveling. Is it immianently wrong? I would risk it to and say “no”. It's a neutral statement. We should dig deeper and understand their motivations to uncover what's behind it.

In this place, I’d like to be fair and underline some alarming statistics from the study that cannot be ignored:

• 62% of surveyed vacationers claim that using smartphones makes them unable to recharge their batteries,
• 60% admitted their bosses expected them to stay connected during leisure time,
• 55% feel intrinsic pressure to respond to work-related emails and messages on vacation.

First and foremost, you must understand your needs, weaknesses, and triggers to avoid falling into such a trap of stress and disturbing pressure. Only then you'll be able to find a healthy way of dealing with work during your leisure time.

To get to know yourself better, ask and honestly answer questions about what your goals and priorities are, how you feel about working on vacation, do you feel internal or external pressure to do it, or is it your decision, how will working in a leisure time affect your mental wellbeing, and so on. If your answers to these and similar questions will satisfy you, by all means, give it a go.

So, How to Stay in Touch and Still Enjoy It?

Now that we know our motivations and are aware of potential risks, it's time to focus on how to stay in touch with the office during leisure time without harming your work-life balance.

Firstly, you should establish some basic ground rules. You can do it alone or together with your colleagues, friends, or family. The important part is to be on the same page about your expectations, needs, and limitations.

Moreover, try to be as specific as possible when setting the rules. For instance, you can agree on particular working hours or days during your vacation. Alternatively, you can develop a more sophisticated system where you'll have some dedicated time for work, and the rest is for leisure.

You should also agree on what kind of work you're going to do - only answer emails, make calls, or maybe even participate in video conferences? By being clear about your working hours and duties, you'll avoid unnecessary stress and anxiety.

The second essential step is to find a suitable place to work. If you're traveling, it can be a real challenge. Fortunately, there are plenty of options these days. You can opt for a coworking space, rent an office, or simply work from your hotel room or apartment.

If you're uncomfortable working in public places, you can always choose to work from home. The important thing is to find a place where you feel comfortable and can focus on your work.

The third and final step is to manage your time wisely. Time management is crucial in any situation, but it's even more important when balancing work and leisure time.

To do that, try to create a schedule and stick to it as much as possible. Of course, there will be some days when you'll have to deviate from the plan, but having a schedule will help you stay on track and avoid working too much.

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Michal Jonca is a travel, food, and trail running passionate who visited 40+ countries on four continents. He is a Travel Leader for the adventurous travel company Solisci and the Community Manager at PhotoAiD.

Only this year, he enjoyed his workation in Thailand, Turkey, and the Caucasus republics.

The post How to Stay in Touch with the Office During Your Leisure Time and Still Enjoy It appeared first on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement.

by Michal Jonca via Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement

5 Tips For Talking With Your Teen About Using Substances

Raising children is a difficult task that only strengthens when that child becomes a teen. During adolescence, it is a time of discovering who they are, and they will often test their boundaries. This is why it is crucial to talk to your teen before they begin testing their limits regarding substance use. It can lead to very unhealthy behaviors if they begin using drugs or alcohol at a young age and can lead them into dangerous territory.

Because of this, it is vital to have a conversation since studies have shown that kids with clear rules about substance use are less likely to get into serious trouble. As a parent, you can follow tips to make this difficult conversation easier for you and your teen. 

Make Them Aware of Your Rules

First, when discussing your teens using alcohol or other drugs, you will want to clearly communicate your rules and the consequences if those rules are broken.

Clearly communicating the rules and consequences will let your teen know where you stand, and ultimately it will aid in a safer kid because of the clear limits set. It also helps when those around him are pressuring your teenager into trying drugs or alcohol by using their parents and the rules as an excuse to say no.

Explain Yourself 

It is also important to know that you cannot just throw a bunch of rules at your teenager without explaining the reasoning behind the rule.

As you are laying out all the limitations regarding substance use and giving logical reasons, it will help your teen feel like they can have an actual adult conversation with you. Using the phrase "because I said so" will be detrimental to your conversation with your teen. They need to feel like they can be open with you and ask questions.

A good rule to follow while talking with your teen is to speak to them the same way you would want to be spoken to. Teens can sense if you are condescending to them, and it is essential to know that they will ultimately be making their own decisions on the matter. If you want them to make good decisions, treat them like the adult you want them to become.  

Allow Them To Speak and Listen

Another important tip as you are having this difficult conversation about substance use is to allow your teen to speak and listen closely to what they have to say.

It may be easy to fall into the trap of wanting to share as much of your wisdom and knowledge with your teen as possible, but they need the chance also to speak, ask questions, and open up. Allow your teenager to have the space to express their feelings and concerns.

Giving them a chance to speak can also be helpful in understanding where they are with their knowledge of different substances. You can use the opportunity to ask questions such as, "what do you know about alcohol use?" The more your teen feels like their point of view is valuable, the more they will be willing to participate in the conversation.

Learn Why They May Already Be Using Substances

During your conversation with your teen, it may come up that they have already dabbled in substance use. When this comes up, it will be essential to find out the reasoning without being judgemental.

There are various reasons a teen may have started using drugs or alcohol, whether to manage their anxiety or depression or to connect socially with their peers. Showing your curiosity about the reasoning can help them feel less judged and more inclined to open up. This will also give you a window into your teen's life, so you know where they need extra support. 

Know How and When To Intervene

Finally, if you learn your teen is using substances already, you need to be watchful and see if the use worsens. Then, you need to know how and when to intervene.

You want to encourage your teen to be honest and open with you, but you also want to communicate that you will help keep them safe. That may mean that you need to look into a teen’s addiction treatment if their use has gotten to that point, or you may need to seek professional help through a therapist.

Talking with your teen about substance use is a delicate dance. However, following these tips will help ease the burden and keep open and honest communication with your teen.

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by Erin Falconer via Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement

The #1 Secret Weapon for Healing Mental Health

Life is tough.

There is so much worry and sadness. Listlessness, obsessive thinking and overall lack of energy are just some of the symptoms that are telltale signs of underlying depression and anxiety.

How do people deal with these mental health issues? There’s medication, of course, but understandably, not everyone is interested in medicating. 

Psychotherapy has helped lots of people but I’ve seen that 1/3 of the people who go to psychotherapy find that it doesn’t help. As Deepak Chopra noted, “75% of people who improve their psychological state do so not with a therapist’s help, but by themselves”

So, is there hope for those who want a better option? 

The secret, underused weapon for dealing with life’s stresses and strains

Creativity!!

It seems that creativity is a do- it-yourself prescription for happiness. As you learn to develop your creative capacity, your happiness levels increase commensurately. 

As Andrew Brink, of the department of psychology at McMaster University, says, “Creativity is the original anti- depressant.”

Much has been written about creativity and its healing nature. In a book on the subject titled The Creativity Cure, by Drs. Carrie and Alton Baron, the authors observe: “Creative action is essential to mental health and happiness. Without some form of creative action it is hard to feel content.”

The creative self is the happiest, healthiest, most productive form of your true self.

By working creatively with your mind and body, you can burrow down to the inner source of conflicts and conundrums. You can uncover a resilience within that will enable you to make better choices and untangle the knots in which you’ve tied yourself. And while perhaps you can’t remove every last obstacle, you can be better prepared for those that remain and approach them with equanimity. 

Julia Cameron, author of The Artist’s Way, says “Creativity is the best tonic in the world. It dissolves irritation and tension, helps us heal safely by discharging emotions and the trauma of sorrow, loss and change, and recharges our energy and positivity.”

In her book Painting Your Way Out of a Corner, Barbara Diane Barry writes that creativity can help navigate transitions, and is an important tool for finding options for dealing with change and risk-taking. 

Creativity is so essential because:

• It fills us in a way that material things cannot. We become the choreographer of our lives instead of mere spectators.
• It is self directed, tapping into inner resources which help us to become self-reliant.
• Creative engagement in a project brings more gratification than the project’s end-product. 
• With creative capacity comes productivity and generosity; we find it easier to give to others when we feel nurtured.

Why we need creativity now more than ever 

Technology has crept into every corner of our lives. It has not only numbed us to our connection to our deeper selves but has deprived us of an important means of self-expression and fulfillment.

When we are creatively engaged, we are in the moment, and when we are in the moment we are open and focused. By inundating us with external stimulation, technology takes these gifts from us. Focus is such an important part of life, and it requires keeping technology at bay.

Is there a difference in types of creativity

There are many forms of creativity. Art is not the only one. Cooking and writing, for example, are very creative. So long as you are working with something involving intelligence, it can be creative.

But there’s a particularly powerful benefit to working with one’s hands the way we do in the creative arts.

Science has shown that purposeful hand use is associated with elevated mood.

Using our hands is a way to exercise our brains, serving as a release valve for psychological stress. It elicits creative thought, awakens your inner life and makes you feel calm.

It also increases your ability to concentrate and contributes to self-esteem and resilience. 

So then why don’t we do more creative work?

There are a number of reasons we don’t maximize the awesome healing qualities of art. For one thing, most people just don’t understand its power.

Then there’s the fact that from a very young age, kids equate creativity with talent for drawing.

This myth is unfortunately often perpetuated by some early childhood teachers and parents who don’t understand the nature of creativity and how it evolves. 

As children grow, they go through a series of natural stages. They first sit, then crawl and then walk. They coo, they babble and only then do they begin speaking.

No matter how much you push a child, he will not be able to get to any given stage before going through the one preceding it. And if he does happen to begin walking without having crawled first, then as I have personally seen, he usually will need some sort of physical or occupational therapy later on.

Creativity, too, proceeds in stages. Children need to learn about creative materials and how they work. They then need to use those materials over and over again. It’s called playing.

What happens is that adults don’t have the patience for the mess children make when they play and so they try to force more adult-like crafts onto them. 

And as a result, children end up feeling incompetent and insecure about their own abilities (unless they were born with the natural ability to draw).  These children grow into adults who are unsure of their creative potential and afraid to experiment with it. They also become scared to open themselves up to criticism, the same kind they may have experienced in their younger years when the artwork they created was judged to be sub-par.

Everyone is born with innate creative potential. Very few of us, however, have in-born artistic talent as expressed in the natural ability to draw. 

But somehow that becomes the accepted way to gauge creativity. Mistakenly, what takes root in our minds is that if you can draw, then you must be creative. And if not, you lump yourself into the great, supposedly non-creative majority who “can’t even draw a straight line.”

So many grownups have deep “creativity scars” from their early years that it’s no wonder they don’t think of turning to art to heal their mental health. 

But is it too late for us?   

Absolutely not!

Sir Ken Robinson, who delivered the famous TED talk Do Schools Kill Creativity? says, “Most people succeed only after they have recovered from their education.”

What adults need to do to heal from these creativity scars is to first go and have those experiences they never did as children.

When I used to go into an art supplies store like Hobby Lobby or Michael’s, I would have mixed feelings. I was excited on the one hand, but at the same time also frustrated. I desperately wanted to play with all of those luscious art materials I saw there, had no idea where to begin.

When you start to play with various art materials, you need to be willing to let go and just respond to the moment and the medium.

Tom and David Kelly write in Creative Confidence, “Doubts in one’s creative ability can be cured by guiding people through small successes.”

Once you get your fill of actually playing with the various mediums, then when you’re ready you can move on to actually creating.

Creating abstract art will enable you to let go of comparisons and free yourself of being concerned how you measure up. 

People who feel good enough when they create without worrying about their self-worth are more courageous and take more risks.

So what IS the perfect medium to start with?

With my background as an early childhood educator and my current experience as an elementary school art teacher and creativity coach for adults, I have seen the progression of what happens from childhood through the adult years.

And I’ve also discovered what I think is the perfect medium for getting reacquainted with your creativity. It’s called alcohol inks. 

Alcohol ink is a dye suspended in alcohol which works on non-porous surfaces. What water is to watercolors, alcohol is to alcohol inks.

It is a gorgeous and vibrant medium. It’s a very forgiving medium, too, in the sense that it leads you instead of you leading it. Any mistakes are easily fixed up and you use it for the most part to create abstract work.

This magical medium takes you back to your childhood “play” time, but this time to do it right. Everyone who plays with this medium falls in love with it and easily feels like an artist.

In the beginning it’s all about the process, not proficiency. If you use the right colors it’s a no-fail recipe for gorgeous abstract art to emerge.

As a creativity coach, I use this medium to help people take the baby steps needed to break out of their comfort zones. 

I find that even people that have had some experience with crafts and art find this medium new and fascinating and can benefit from the journey as well.

If you want to get started but don’t have any inks you can start with some alcohol ink markers (sharpies) and some 91% rubbing alcohol. You can make some beautiful art using just sharpies and alcohol.  You can then purchase some bottles and alcohol inks and prepare to be inspired.

Faigie Kobre is a creativity coach who works with people who love art but, don’t feel creative. She helps them reignited their creativity through the magical medium of alcohol inks. You can get started with her FREE video on 6 techniques to creating beautiful abstract art with sharpies and alcohol

(if you decide to print this article of mine please let me know in advance as I might change the link address)

The post The #1 Secret Weapon for Healing Mental Health appeared first on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement.

by Faigie Kobre via Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement

8 Great Resources To Improve Your Mental Health

Mental health is a topic that needs to be talked about more. Mental health issues can affect anyone. It's important to understand that seeking help doesn't mean you're weak, crazy, or negative. If you are struggling with your mental health, this list will help you find some resources and support systems for yourself or others in need.

1. Journaling Apps

Journaling apps are a great way to gather your thoughts and feelings. They can be used for many purposes, from keeping track of an illness or recovery process to having a space for jotting down ideas for that new book you're planning on writing.

There are many types of journaling apps out there. It's important to figure out which one best fits your needs before committing yourself.

2. Meditation Apps

Meditation is a simple practice that anyone can learn and reap the benefits from. It's not fancy or complicated. It just takes some time to get used to. The goal of meditation is for your mind to become more peaceful and calm, which will help you with stress management, sleep problems, and more.

Meditation apps are great because they can be used anywhere and at any time; there is no need for special clothing or equipment! You can try different types of meditation until you find what works best for you

3. Mindfulness Apps

In this day and age, it's so easy to be distracted by the past or future. Your minds race with thoughts of what you have to do tomorrow and where you were yesterday. These apps can help you focus on the present by helping you become aware of your surroundings and body sensations. This will help you avoid worrying about the past or future as much, which is a great way of relieving stress.

4. Online Therapy

Online therapy is a great option for people who are too busy or unable to schedule regular appointments with a therapist. It can also be more affordable than in-person therapy and beneficial for those who are shy or have social anxiety.

Online therapy comprises several software and platforms that allow you to connect with your therapist via video chat, phone call, or text message. Some services charge you per session, while others charge by the month depending on how long you use their service.

5. Online Support Groups

Online support groups are a great way to connect with people with similar experiences. The group mostly works withonline psychiatry, where people can connect and share their challenges. You can talk about your problems and share tips for coping. Sometimes, knowing that you're not alone in your struggles can help ease your anxiety. This is especially true if the group shares the same diagnosis as you or if the members share similar symptoms of their disorder(s). Joining an online support group will help you understand what it's like to be part of this community. Having someone else who has been there before will allow them to provide insight into what kind of challenges may lie ahead. Other members might have some helpful suggestions on how best to navigate certain situations.

6. Mental Health Podcasts

Podcasts are a great way to learn about mental health, connect with others dealing with similar issues and relax. Mental health podcasts have been gaining popularity over the last decade. Many different types of podcasts are available—some focus on specific topics, while others feature more general discussions about mental health.

7. Mental Health Twitter and Instagram Accounts to follow

It cannot be easy to know where to start when it comes to improving your mental health, but some great Twitter and Instagram accounts can help you. For example,

•           @mentalhealthuk- This account strongly focuses on their #OpenUp campaign, which aims to end the stigma around mental health by encouraging people to share their stories with others. They also tweet about how you can find support for different issues, such as anxiety or depression.

•           @officialhfobooks- The Health Foundation's Books on Prescription program is an excellent resource for anyone looking for practical self-help strategies for managing stress and anxiety. This account posts new books every month that cover different topics like mindfulness, relationships, and exercise

8. Mood-Boosting Youtube Channels

When you feel anxious, depressed, or stressed out, it's easy to forget that there are ways to make yourself feel better. YouTube is filled with people sharing their experiences, advice, and tools for improving your mental health.

Conclusion

If you're looking for a way to improve your mental health, plenty of resources are available to help. There is no shortage of options, from apps that can track your mood to therapy sessions with a therapist in person or over Skype. You must find the right one for you and work with it consistently so any improvements will stick around long term.

The post 8 Great Resources To Improve Your Mental Health appeared first on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement.

by Miranda Spears via Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement

Deep Questions to Ask: Philosophers and How They Wrestled with These Questions

If you're a wisdom seeker, chances are you're always on the lookout for new deep questions to ask. 

After all, there's nothing like a good deep question to get your brain cells firing and to get you thinking about life, the universe, and everything. 

But where do you find these deep questions? And once you've found them, how do you go about answering them?

Fortunately, you're not the first person to ask these types of questions. Throughout history, there have been many famous philosophers and thinkers who have wrestled with the same deep questions that you're now grappling with.

 In this blog post, we'll take a look at some of these famous philosophers and how they approached these deep questions. Maybe their answers will give you some clues as to how you can answer some of your own deep questions.

Deep Question #1: What is the meaning of life?

Every human being has asked themselves at some point in their life, "What is the meaning of life?"

It is a question that has been debated by philosophers for centuries, and one that is still very relevant today. Let's take a look at how the great philosopher Aristotle answered this question. 

Aristotle was born in 384 BC in the city of Stagira in Macedonia. His father was a doctor who served the Macedonian king Amyntas III, and Aristotle was brought up with an appreciation for medicine and science. 

He later studied at Plato's Academy in Athens, where he became friends with another young student named Alexander (who would later become known as Alexander the Great). After leaving the Academy, Aristotle traveled to Asia Minor and Lesbos before returning to Macedonia, where he became the tutor of Alexander. 

It was during his time teaching Alexander that Aristotle began to seriously ponder the question of what the meaning of life might be. 

He knew that it was a question that had been debated by philosophers for centuries, but he felt that he could add something new to the discussion. 

So, Aristotle set out to find an answer that was both logical and satisfying. 

Aristotle's Definition of Happiness

Aristotle began his quest for the meaning of life by looking at the concept of happiness. He reasoned that if humans are rational beings, then it stands to reason that our lives must have a purpose or goal. 

Furthermore, he believed that this purpose is always to attain some good. But what is this "good" that we are striving for? Aristotle concluded that the "good" or ultimate purpose for humanity is Eudaimonia. 

Eudaimonia is often translated as "happiness," but it is important to note that Aristotle's conception of happiness is quite different from the way most modern people understand the word. 

For Aristotle, Eudaimonia is not a transient feeling or emotion; rather, it is a long-term condition that results from living a virtuous life. So, how does one achieve Eudaimonia? 

According to Aristotle, there are two main components: 

1. using reason well
2. engaging in virtuous action. 

Using Reason Well

Aristotle believed that humans are unique among all other forms of life in the entire world because we have the ability to reason on a deeper level. This ability sets us apart from animals and gives us great potential for growth and development. 

To realize our full potential as human beings, Aristotle argued that we must use our reason well. This means constantly striving to gain knowledge, asking personal questions, and understanding about both ourselves and the world around us. 

Engaging in Virtuous Action

The second component of achieving Eudaimonia is engaging in virtuous action. Virtue, for Aristotle, refers to excellence or goodness - doing what we ought to do (as opposed to vice or badness - doing what we ought not to do). 

The key here is moral virtue - action done not out of fear of punishment or hope of reward, but because it is intrinsically good or worthwhile. So living a virtuous life means acting in accordance with moral virtue - doing things because they are good in themselves, not just because they lead to some other goal such as wealth or pleasure. 

In conclusion, we can see that Aristotle's quest for the meaning of life led him to the important lesson that our ultimate purpose as human beings is to achieve Eudaimonia - a long-term condition resulting from living a virtuous life characterized by using reason well and engaging in virtuous action. 

Although this may not be the answer everyone is looking for, it provides a logical and satisfying explanation for why we exist and what we should strive for in our lives.

Deep Question #2: What is the nature of reality? 

Another deep question that has puzzled philosophers for centuries is what is the nature of reality? Is what we see and experience in our everyday lives really all there is? Or is there something more to reality than meets the eye? 

The 20th-century philosopher Ludwig Wittgenstein grappled with this question and came to the conclusion that "the limits of my language mean the limits of my world." 

In other words, our understanding of reality is limited by our ability to understand and communicate it. 

But how did Wittgenstein come to this conclusion? Here are some examples of how Wittgenstein personally wrestled with this question in his own life. 

Ludwig Wittgenstein was a 20th-century philosopher who was deeply troubled by the question of reality. He wrestled with this question throughout his life, both in his personal life and in his professional work. 

Wittgenstein was known for being a very private man, and he did not share his innermost thoughts with many people. However, those closest to him knew that he was constantly grappling with big questions about life, death, and the nature of reality. 

One famous story about Wittgenstein illustrates this struggle perfectly. 

Wittgenstein was once sitting on a beach with a friend, looking out at the ocean. 

His friend asked him what he was thinking about, and Wittgenstein replied, "I am wondering if I am really here, or if I am just dreaming." This story perfectly encapsulates Wittgenstein's struggle to come to grips with the nature of reality. 

Wittgenstein’s belief that our understanding of reality is limited by our ability to understand and communicate it. He came to this conclusion after years of struggling with the question of whether or not what we see and experience in our everyday lives is really all there is. 

Wittgenstein realized that we can only understand and explain reality through language. And because language is limited, so is our understanding of reality. 

This might sound like a negative conclusion, but Wittgenstein actually saw it as a positive thing. He believed that the fact that we can never fully understand reality is what makes life interesting and meaningful. 

If we could understand everything about reality, then life would be boring and predictable. But because we can only glimpse at reality through the lens of language, we are constantly discovering new things about it. 

Deep Question #3: How should we live our lives? 

How we choose to live our lives is ultimately up to us. But that doesn't stop us from wondering whether we are living our lives in the right way. 

The ancient Chinese philosopher Confucius wrestled with this question and came up with his own set of guidelines for how to live a good life. He said that we should "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" and "Love your neighbor as yourself." Doesn't that sound familiar to what Jesus said as well?

But how did Confucius come to this conclusion? Here are some examples of how Confucius personally wrestled with this question in his own life. 

As a young man, Confucius was appointed to a minor government post. However, he soon became disillusioned with the corruption he saw around him. He resigned from his position and began traveling around China, teaching people about morality and ethics. 

During his travels, he met a man named Lao Tzu who was so impressed with Confucius' wisdom that he gave him a copy of the Tao Te Ching, a book that would have a profound influence on him. 

Confucius eventually settled down and started a school where he taught his philosophy to students from all over China. His teachings became so popular that the Emperor invited him to court to advise him on how to run the country. 

However, not everyone agreed with Confucianism. There were many debates between Confucians and other schools of thought, such as Mohism and Legalism. In the end, Confucianism prevailed and had a lasting impact on Chinese culture. 

Overall, Confucius believed that we should treat others with kindness and compassion and always strive to improve ourselves. His philosophy has endured for centuries and continues to be relevant today. As we grapple with our own deep questions about how we should live our lives, it is worth considering what Confucius has to say on the matter.

Deep Questions to Ask - Conclusion

These are just a few of the many deep questions that philosophers have asked throughout history. As you can see, there are no easy answers to these types of questions. 

But that doesn't mean they're not worth asking. In fact, it's often through asking these difficult questions and staring your biggest fear in the face is important. 

For more related information, please read this Pick The Brain article “Ancient Philosophy and Modern Personal Development”.

In this way we can gain a greater understanding of ourselves and the world around us. So don't be afraid to ask those tough questions—you never know what kind of insights you might glean from doing so.

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Jared Levenson is a blogger at Eating Enlightenment. A former Zen Monk and Intuitive Eating Counselor, Jared blogs about mindfulness and journaling to treat binge and emotional eating.

The post Deep Questions to Ask: Philosophers and How They Wrestled with These Questions appeared first on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement.

by Jared Levenson via Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement

Warning Signs That You are Not in Control of Your Life

Losing control and no longer feeling like we are in any position of power regarding our lives is terrifying, yet common. Sometimes we feel like we are simply bystanders, getting carried away by the  overwhelming circumstances that constantly leave us powerless.  

We might feel like everything else is controlling us, whether it’s a job, a relationship, or a friend. How do  we gain our sense of control back? 

Being in control of our own life, means being in charge of the aspects of it. Obviously, we cannot be  ahead of everything.  

We can only change how we react, how we think, who we let in, and what things we allow to control us.  Most of the time, we don’t even realize how much power a certain thing holds o us! 

By doing that we are declaring that no one else is holding the gear. Getting to this point, starts by  actually believing that we are, in fact, in control!  

Once we start believing that you got this, other things will not matter.  

Signs you are not in control 

1. You are constantly complaining 

2. You have a constant feeling of boredom  

3. You talk yourself out of commitments  

4. You feel like your relationships are out of place 

5. You are constantly on your phone  

1. You are constantly complaining 

When you are in a constant state of complaining, clearly, it means you are having issues in your life,  whether it’s an annoying boss, a draining friendship, a controlling family member, they are definitely bothering you. However, are you doing anything about it? 

Ask yourself the following: 

Am I doing something to change the situation?  

Am I taking any sort of action to make it better? 

Or am I just complaining? 

Surely, that’s a tough one. Sometimes we feel like we don’t have the power to change a situation. But that  is far from the truth, we always have it within us to better it! Change starts with action. Any small action  you take forward to try and improve a situation, means you are not letting it control you! 

When you catch yourself complaining, instead of drowning in a loop of self-pity, start thinking about ways to better the situation. 

2. You have a constant feeling of boredom 

Being always bored means we can’t find the spark in our life. There is nothing exciting us anymore, we  simply don’t like where our life is heading and we lost the passion of it all. How do we reverse that? 

Ask yourself: 

Am I prioritizing the things I love? 

Am I chasing my dreams? 

Did I forget to make time for the things I enjoy doing? 

Did I get carried away by work and forgot to prioritize the things I enjoyed because, I felt like I had no  time? 

Sometimes, the simplest things can make us happy. Just a heart to heart talk with a friend, listening to our  favorite songs, and eating in the places we like. 

Having a regular routine gives us structure and stability, it is indeed a good thing to maintain. However,  we still need to make time for the things that we do, because we want to, not because we have to! An  amount of time dedicated to our hobbies or interests can make a huge difference. Invest time in doing this! 

Once you start enjoying things again, the lack of enthusiasm will vanish, and you will find yourself in a  happier state. By achieving this, you are controlling the elements that contribute to your happiness, and  positive wellbeing.  

3. You talk yourself out of commitments 

If we can’t hold on to commitments, how can we feel in control? Not knowing how to commit to things  will make us feel like we have no sense of discipline. 

We can start by assessing how much value we give to commitments, whether it’s a hangout with a friend,  a meeting, a family gathering, a job interview, or a relationship. It is necessary to be self-aware of a lack  of commitment. 

Once you know this you can start making it better! 

Start your day by writing down all the things you want to do, and actually commit to doing them. This will  help develop a sense of responsibility that will grow into making you a person who is committed. 

When we begin to commit to different areas of our lives, we feel in control.  

4. Your relationships are out of place 

Trying to maintain relationships that feel out of place is emotionally draining. This could be due to a lack  of boundaries, and fear of speaking up when bothered. This can definitely put you in an inferior position  when it comes to your emotional wellbeing. 

You need to know why you are scared of establishing boundaries. You are not hurting anyone by wanting  to be respected. In fact, you are only emotionally protecting ourselves. By letting others know your  boundaries, you are making ourselves happier, and increasing your self-worth.  

We all deserve this! We can’t control our lives if we don’t have our own boundaries, which allow us to  have mutual respect and love in our relationships.  

5. You are constantly on your phone 

Being negatively consumed by social media can be devastating. Not knowing to what extent we let the  power of social media affect us, can be harmful. We might let these platforms have a huge impact on our  lives and we may not know how to stop this.  

We should always know how much time we allow ourselves to scroll down these apps, and how the time  spent can be negatively affecting us. For instance,  

By doing this, a clear view of the problem will be visible. Am I comparing myself to people online? Am I  letting the things I post online be the only thing shaping my life? Do I feel like I do not exist without  online validation? Am I spending too much time on social media? 

Having social media accounts and regularly using them is completely normal! But when we start letting  them consume our mental space excessively, that creates an issue.  

For example, we can start the day by writing down how much time we are going to give social media  today, and how we are going to enjoy our day without feeling the need to post about it. By doing that, we create a healthier mindset. 

Change starts with you 

We are in control of many things in our lives, when we don’t even know it. For example, the  media we consume on a daily basis, the people we talk to, the food we eat, the work we do,  how we manage our time, how we communicate with ourselves, and how we look at ourselves.  

All these things help us shape our reality and create what we want. Listening to positive things  regularly will quite literally transform the way you think. For example, I start my day with  listening to positive affirmations, these things stick to your brain! So paying attention to what  you let yourself hear every day is vital. Change begins with you, if you want to feel in control of  your own life, you simply need to declare it, believe it, and take action!

The post Warning Signs That You are Not in Control of Your Life  appeared first on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement.

by layan via Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement

Self-Esteem: Are You Actually That Bad?

It’s pretty obvious that every one of us wants to feel that oh-so-popular “high self-esteem”, right?

It’s drilled in us since we’re little to feel confident, to feel good about ourselves, and to “know who we are!”

We see books, websites, podcasts and posts all dedicated to self-esteem.

Think about the most common advice you usually hear about how to get high self-esteem?

1. Do something for someone else to feel good about yourself

2. Think about your achievements

3. Be unique (because you’re special!)

Despite all this advice, why do so many people have low self-esteem?

Want me to explain?

Self-Esteem Is Naturally Inside Of You

Firstly self-esteem is naturally inside of you.  A lot of people think you have to DO something or BE someone in order to EARN self-esteem.  The truth is that it’s already inside of you. 

Self-esteem is how much you value yourself.  The thing is that we’re all just ourselves, and we all offer something.  

There’s no such thing as high self-esteem or low self-esteem.  There’s just how connected you are to what’s naturally inside of you.

Being Connected To You 

Being connected to what’s naturally inside of you is allowing yourself to feel what’s naturally inside of you, and that’s love & connection.

A lot of people think love comes from the outside. Most people are trying to GET love.

Love & connection actually starts from the inside, and I could prove it to you!

Place your hand over your heart and think about someone you deeply love.  Feel the feeling fully.  

What did you feel?  Love, right?  Exactly.

If Love Is Naturally Inside, What’s The Conditioning That Makes Us Look Outwards?

1. Do something for someone else to feel good about yourself 

Helping people definitely feels good, especially helping people you care about.  At the same time helping someone to feel good about yourself guarantees that you will never fully feel the love that’s already inside of you.

Why?

Because you believe you have to do something to feel it.  It’s a trade in this case.  I do something for you, and I obviously won’t ask for it consciously, but subconsciously I’m hoping for love back.  

You might ALSO like helping because that’s who you are.  It’s when you also do it to feel significant and to get love in return that blocks you from fully feeling what’s already inside of you.

The way out is to help because that’s who you are.  You’ll feel the love and therefore self-esteem.  From that place you’ll be able to help MORE, as well as feeling good about yourself.

2. Think about your achievements

The classic achiever in this one.  Most of us get praised for getting high marks in school, doing good in sports, and for looking good.  

When we get praised we feel significant and translate it to mean love.  

That’s why we think it helps our self-esteem, because we’re finally worth it, right?

Wrong.  

Anybody that plays that game can tell you how it’s a never ending game.  You also never feel real self-esteem.  Sucks eh?

The way out is to achieve because of the journey.  You love growing and making things happen.  You get to feel your love AND get to always learn and grow.  

3. Be unique (because you’re special!)

I think this one is becoming more and more prevalent.  Coming from a past where parents rarely told their kids how proud they were, this new generation gets all the praise in the world.

They get praised for being so unique and special.  It’s true that all of us are unique and offer something.  It’s that when we think we’re somehow more important than the next person is when we again, block ourselves from feeling ourselves.

You don’t need to feel special in order to feel self-esteem.  That allows you to use your unique gifts to truly help people.

In Conclusion

Self-esteem is naturally inside of you.  You feel it by letting go of the conditioning that we’ve all been taught.  You finally GET to feel what’s naturally inside of you.

What do you think?

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Giovanni Maccarrone helps his clients with self-esteem, confidence, and the real motivation that's naturally inside of them by helping them get back to who they truly are inside.

The post Self-Esteem: Are You Actually That Bad? appeared first on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement.

by inspireyourselflc@gmail.com via Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement